Wrestle with life, then grow and learn
Published: Friday, February 19, 2010 9:11 AM US/eastern
By NATHAN DAY WILSON
Wrestling with life, while always difficult and sometimes traumatic, is both unavoidable and, more importantly, necessary because wrestling with life helps us develop vision in life as well as expectations. Wrestling with life gives us insight as well as experience. We grow in compassion and in character. Wrestling with life — difficult and scarring though it is — transforms us and enables us to transform.
Wrestling with life is of the essence of life. In the process, we learn things about ourselves and we come to understand some things about God as well. God gives life, and in the giving allows us to be co-creators, full participants with the chance to make decisions, and part of making decisions is taking charge of our lives.
Wrestling with life drives us to find God within us and God in the darkness that surrounds us. Think about that for a moment. Some of us hesitate to say that God is within us, maybe because we think it sounds like we are puffing ourselves up, elevating ourselves above others, showing off and so on. Others hesitate to say that God is in the darkness that surrounds us, as though the darkness is only the absence of God.
But instead, a lesson from the story of Jacob wrestling in the dark, a lesson I think God would have us know is that wrestling with life helps us find God within and God in the darkness that surrounds us.
Here’s how Rumi, a 12th-century poet, put it:
I saw Grief drinking a cup of sorrow and called out, “It tastes sweet, does it not?”
“You've caught me, and now you've ruined my business," said Grief. "How can I sell sorrow when you know it's a blessing?”
There is beauty in the dark valleys of life. We call it hope. We call it spiritual growth -- grounded in the ability to remember a difficult past, either our own or someone else’s, that became new life more than we could ever imagine. Our difficult pasts — our times of scuffling and scrapping, rumbling and wrestling with life — prove to us that whatever it was that we ever before thought would crush us, would trample us, would completely paralyze us has been survived.
And if that is true, then we can survive and grow through whatever we are wrestling with now.
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirituality. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Saturday, July 04, 2009
What means much to you?
Father never accepted any gift from his students, but when his daughter became a teacher, she never refused any gifts from her students.
The father was upset by this practice, so one day he reproached his daughter: "I do not accept any gift because gifts mean nothing to me. It pains me to know that you grab all that your disciples bring to you."
The daughter replied: "Father, if gifts mean nothing to you, why are you bothered whether I accept them or reject them?"
In my life, what means much to me, even when I think it doesn't?
The father was upset by this practice, so one day he reproached his daughter: "I do not accept any gift because gifts mean nothing to me. It pains me to know that you grab all that your disciples bring to you."
The daughter replied: "Father, if gifts mean nothing to you, why are you bothered whether I accept them or reject them?"
In my life, what means much to me, even when I think it doesn't?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Be convicted but not close-minded!
What do I mean? Well, thanks for asking; here's what I mean:
We are convicted that love really is better than hate; that violence really does not work, and always leads to more violence; that it is better to focus on giving instead of getting. We are convicted that diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to be without.
When we live these convictions, the hungry are fed, the homeless sheltered, the sick cared for, the grieving comforted, the lost welcomed and the children protected. These are the convictions that make the world more peaceful and life-giving.
At the same time, we are not close-minded. We know that we don't have the corner on truth. And we know that ignoring the truths to be learned elsewhere only belittles the truths to which we hold.
We are convicted that love really is better than hate; that violence really does not work, and always leads to more violence; that it is better to focus on giving instead of getting. We are convicted that diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to be without.
When we live these convictions, the hungry are fed, the homeless sheltered, the sick cared for, the grieving comforted, the lost welcomed and the children protected. These are the convictions that make the world more peaceful and life-giving.
At the same time, we are not close-minded. We know that we don't have the corner on truth. And we know that ignoring the truths to be learned elsewhere only belittles the truths to which we hold.
Friday, January 23, 2009
The challenges, pains, rewards of leadership
I benefitted from spending a few days with ministry colleagues this week at Wabash College. Part of our time was spent discussing the ideas in Leadership without Easy Answers with each other and with the book's author, Ronald Heifetz.
Heifetz was a great conversation partner for us: thoughtful, engaging and genuinely interested in hearing our leadership concerns and theological considerations. In sum, Heifetz message was that the challenges of leadership, along with the pains of change, must not diminish anyone's eagerness to reap the rewards of creating value and meaning in other people's lives. Leadership is difficult, and worth it.
Nathan
Heifetz was a great conversation partner for us: thoughtful, engaging and genuinely interested in hearing our leadership concerns and theological considerations. In sum, Heifetz message was that the challenges of leadership, along with the pains of change, must not diminish anyone's eagerness to reap the rewards of creating value and meaning in other people's lives. Leadership is difficult, and worth it.
Nathan
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Spirituality = Happiness?
I’m not yet sure of the study’s parameters or details, because I haven’t made time to read the study in depth, but I am interested in its findings: Children between the ages of 8 and 12 who feel that their lives have meaning and value and who develop quality relationships are happier. The authors of this study from the University of British Columbia assert that their findings are in keeping with those from a long line of studies indicating that for adults, college students and older teens, spirituality – defined loosely as a sense of purpose, meaning and value, and sense of connection with others – is directly linked to happiness. With more spirituality, the thinking goes, comes more happiness.
What do you think?
Nathan
What do you think?
Nathan
Friday, January 09, 2009
College students today
Almost 2 million first-year college and university students are heading back to schools around the country this month. Many of them were born around 1990 when headlines sounded more than a little familiar: Big Three car companies were facing declining sales and profits; a president named Bush was increasing the number of troops in the Middle East in the hopes of securing peace; fluctuating fuel prices were causing airlines to, well, fluctuate their prices.
While the headlines of now and 1990 might sound similar, according to an annual poll by Beloit College in Wisconsin, the general mindset of this year's college freshman is quite different from the faculty preparing them to become the leaders of tomorrow. Dubbed the "Mindset List," this annual poll provides a look at the cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college.
For instance, the class of 2012 has grown up in an era where computers and rapid communication are norm, and colleges no longer trumpet the fact that residence halls are “wired” and equipped with the latest hardware. These students hardly recognize the availability of telephones in their rooms since they have seldom utilized landlines during their adolescence. They will continue to live on their cell phones and communicate via texting. Roommates, few of whom have ever shared a bedroom, have already checked out each other on Facebook where they have shared their most personal thoughts with the whole world. It is a multicultural, politically correct and “green” generation that has hardly noticed the threats to their privacy and has never feared the Russians and the Warsaw Pact.
Intersting stuff, huh? Here's the rest of the list:
1. Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.2. Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.3. They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.4. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.5. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.6. Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.7. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.8. Their parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce “tax revenue increases.”9. Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.10. Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.11. All have had a relative–or known about a friend’s relative–who died comfortably at home with Hospice.12. As a precursor to “whatever,” they have recognized that some people “just don’t get it.”13. Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando.14. Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.15. Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.16. Haagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.17. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.18. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.19. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.20. The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.21. Students have always been “Rocking the Vote.”22. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.23. Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.24. We have always known that “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”25. There have always been gay rabbis.26. Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.27. College grads have always been able to Teach for America.28. IBM has never made typewriters.29. Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again.30. McDonald’s and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.31. They have never been able to color a tree using a raw umber Crayola.32. There has always been Pearl Jam.33. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.34. Pee-Wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.35. They never tasted Benefit Cereal with psyllium.36. They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.37. Authorities have always been building a wall across the Mexican border.38. Lenin’s name has never been on a major city in Russia.39. Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.40. Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the U.S.41. Macaulay Culkin has always been Home Alone.42. Their parents may have watched The American Gladiators on TV the day they were born.43. Personal privacy has always been threatened.44. Caller ID has always been available on phones.45. Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.46. The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.47. They never heard an attendant ask “Want me to check under the hood?”48. Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.49. Soft drink refills have always been free.50. They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about “nothing.”51. Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.52. Muscovites have always been able to buy Big Macs.53. The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.54. The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.55. 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.56. Michael Millken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate cancer research.57. Off-shore oil drilling in the United States has always been prohibited.58. Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.59. There have always been charter schools.60. Students always had Goosebumps.
Nathan
While the headlines of now and 1990 might sound similar, according to an annual poll by Beloit College in Wisconsin, the general mindset of this year's college freshman is quite different from the faculty preparing them to become the leaders of tomorrow. Dubbed the "Mindset List," this annual poll provides a look at the cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college.
For instance, the class of 2012 has grown up in an era where computers and rapid communication are norm, and colleges no longer trumpet the fact that residence halls are “wired” and equipped with the latest hardware. These students hardly recognize the availability of telephones in their rooms since they have seldom utilized landlines during their adolescence. They will continue to live on their cell phones and communicate via texting. Roommates, few of whom have ever shared a bedroom, have already checked out each other on Facebook where they have shared their most personal thoughts with the whole world. It is a multicultural, politically correct and “green” generation that has hardly noticed the threats to their privacy and has never feared the Russians and the Warsaw Pact.
Intersting stuff, huh? Here's the rest of the list:
1. Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.2. Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.3. They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.4. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.5. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.6. Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.7. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.8. Their parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce “tax revenue increases.”9. Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.10. Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.11. All have had a relative–or known about a friend’s relative–who died comfortably at home with Hospice.12. As a precursor to “whatever,” they have recognized that some people “just don’t get it.”13. Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando.14. Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.15. Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.16. Haagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.17. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.18. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.19. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.20. The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.21. Students have always been “Rocking the Vote.”22. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.23. Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.24. We have always known that “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”25. There have always been gay rabbis.26. Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.27. College grads have always been able to Teach for America.28. IBM has never made typewriters.29. Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again.30. McDonald’s and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.31. They have never been able to color a tree using a raw umber Crayola.32. There has always been Pearl Jam.33. The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.34. Pee-Wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.35. They never tasted Benefit Cereal with psyllium.36. They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.37. Authorities have always been building a wall across the Mexican border.38. Lenin’s name has never been on a major city in Russia.39. Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.40. Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the U.S.41. Macaulay Culkin has always been Home Alone.42. Their parents may have watched The American Gladiators on TV the day they were born.43. Personal privacy has always been threatened.44. Caller ID has always been available on phones.45. Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.46. The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.47. They never heard an attendant ask “Want me to check under the hood?”48. Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.49. Soft drink refills have always been free.50. They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about “nothing.”51. Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.52. Muscovites have always been able to buy Big Macs.53. The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.54. The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.55. 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.56. Michael Millken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate cancer research.57. Off-shore oil drilling in the United States has always been prohibited.58. Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.59. There have always been charter schools.60. Students always had Goosebumps.
Nathan
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